I'm a bitch and my kids are brats!

You know me...peaks and valleys....feast and famine...

I'll do 3 posts in one day and then go silent for a week. So here I am after a long silence and what has me blogging? A gripe of course!

So...the boys and I are in Starbuck's today, post playground and very hot, tired and hungry. I grab a sandwich and Peter gets his favorite fruit cheese and crackers thingy. We sit down to eat (Paul by the way is strapped to my chest in the carrier sound asleep) and before I can get the food out I swear I hear the woman across from us sigh loudly and say Oh God, here we go. I figure she's talking to her laptop and continue with getting our food out and on the table.

Peter is busy swinging his feet while he sits in his seat and watching out the window for dogs. "Mama, Dogs come?" he keeps saying over and over while his foot bangs on the table. "I'm sure they will, keep watching." Bang...Bang...Bang.... (his foot still going on the table).

OK, I say, food is ready, dig in.

Another sigh from laptop chick. Again, I have to assume she's frustrated with something she is reading.

Peter cheers loudly for the food. He cheers anytime you tell him anything is ready, it's just his happy nature. :)

More grunts and noise from laptop chick.

Peter is still banging his foot on the table, asking about dogs, eating his food and frankly being very good. He stands up in his seat and screeches...DOGS MAMA!!! OH GOOD, I say. He watches the dogs walk by and starts naming the colors of the dogs and exclaiming there are two.

Laptop chick is on her cell phone now. I here her explaining to some person on the phone that she was having an impossible time concentrating because of (get this) "...some bitch and her little brats..."

OH..... anger!!! I couldn't believe it. A thousand remarks ran through my head of what I should say. A thousand ideas of what I should do. I realize I'm staring at her while I'm thinking all of this - no clue what the look on my face was.

The nerve of this woman, right? She's sitting in a public place, under the speakers of the loudly playing music I might add, and has the nerve to complain that my happy child watching dogs is a brat and that subsequently I'm a bitch?

I submit that someone else is a bitch.

So, an open note to all you public forum laptoppers:

Yes, it's super-cool that you have the latest color apple computer with which to peruse the Internet or "work"; but please, seriously, don't expect peace and quiet to work - YOU ARE IN A PUBLIC PLACE IN A BUSY CITY WHERE LIFE HAPPENS!! If you want quiet, take that swanky laptop to the only public place where you are guaranteed quiet: the library.

Rant is complete. Yes, I really do feel better now, thank you.

I don't wear Prada to the playground

update/edit [10-8-09]: I have to send a thank you to Christy at Lil Welsh Rarebit for putting this post up over at Mama's Losin It's list of blog writers you admire. I couldn't understand the sudden increase of hits on this old post until I saw an email from Christy telling me she had put me up on the list...

SO...

thank you to those stopping by and please leave me a note that you were here!

The original post:

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I don't wear Prada to the playground

.... but sometimes I wish I did. Maybe Prada is not what's in Vogue right now, maybe saying "in vogue" is not in vogue...but all the more to the point that I'm clueless as to the ins and outs of what's in! And that's fine. That's who I am, and who I am just can't understand being decked out in Prada (or whatever), high heels, a beautiful flowing scarf, the latest high fashion bag, full face of make-up and perfectly coiffed hair at the sand pit in the playground with your toddler. What the....?

I don't get it. Let me tell you, I'm in the minority here in DC too! Me and the Nannies are the only ones in jogging pants and tennis shoes, actually, some of the nannies are in skirts (but they do have on tennis shoes with that skirt).

This is the reason I pretty much stick to the Adams Morgan playground. There seem to be more Moms like me at this playground versus Rose Park located between Dupont Circle and Georgetown. I guess location is everything. I get the same feeling going to the Dupont Circle Farmers market versus my own neighborhood Market. As one friend put it, you feel like you have to dress up to shop at the Dupont Circle Farmers Market. These people think they are at some sort of European Market photo shoot!

I digress.

What I want to know is WHO ARE THESE MOMS?! It's not so much a money thing as it is a TIME thing. I can NOT leave my two year old alone for very long before he destroys something. So how in the heck would I ever have a chance to take a nice long shower, fix my hair and put on makeup and assemble some sort of "outfit"?! Well, OK, it's a comfort thing too. I really can't see myself chasing and playing with my two year old in heels! But then, I rarely see these moms chase & play with their kids - the poor things. I take solace in the fact that these women must have more help at home during the day than I do! If you're one of these Prada-Moms...please do not burst my bubble by commenting on this post that you in fact do not have help at home...I don't think I could take it!

Just GOTTA have the last word!

OK, Maggiano's!!! You just HAAAD to have the last word, didn't-ya?! So...I posted about Maggiano's apologizing for an incident I had written to them about...and how we enjoyed their freebie "we're sorry" meal. So after such a wonderful "we're sorry" meal, I felt the need to write back to Maggiano's headquarters and say "thank you for the nice apology".

Well, today I received this (see above) letter from Maggiano's saying...we're so glad you had such a wonderful experience and gave me a $10 coupon for my next visit. Just HAAAD to get the last word in, didn't you, Maggiano's? That's totally fine by me! You now have a more than happy customer!!! but I still get the last word .... THANK YOU!!!

A Kind Nod in The Direction of Maggiano's Restaurant

In this post I mentioned an incident that occurred while trying to grab some lunch at a Maggiano's restaurant during a particularly frustrating day. One of the commenter's on that post said something about Maggiano's actions being discriminatory. That had not occurred to me, at the time that I posted I just found it to be another incident in my trying day but the more I thought about it the more I felt she was right. So I sent a note via the Maggiano's website recapping my experience.

A couple of days later the GM of the restaurant called me. I was surprised, frankly, to hear back about the note at all let alone receive the most sincere of apologies. The GM explained that he was thoroughly embarrassed about my experience, he asked for details, if I possibly knew the names of the hostesses, and apologized profusely. He even told me to ask for him the next time I'm in the restaurant so he can personally see to it that my next experience is above and beyond and stated my meal would be on the house. He was sooo soo nice and apologetic and assured me that my experience was not the common policy for Maggiano's and he would do everything he could to see to it something like this never happened again.

Wow. I mean really, I didn't expect all of that!

So today, with my mother and two boys in tow, I went to Maggiano's for that promised free meal. They certainly made good on their promise, including my mother's two glasses of wine, my two-year old's spaghetti, my gnocchi and salad and my mother's order of the special of the day (can't remember what it was). In the end our bill totaled close to $50, completely comped! LOVE IT! :)

So, Thank you Maggiano's for your most sincere and delicious apology!!!

I don't juggle, but I think I'm doing a good job of it

I posted this on Facebook about my day today and thought it was a good post here too:

TODAY:

- Get up to screaming baby, nurse him.

- Go downstairs to find hubby working and 2 year old tearing up living room.

- Ignore mess in living room and start making coffee.

- Ignore 2 year old sitting on foot and gripping leg while I walk around kitchen.

- Make waffles with two your old sitting on foot and holding leg while walk around kitchen.

~~~~drink some coffee!~~~~~~~

- Two year old tugging on shirt and constantly repeating "Go bye-bye to Zoom!""Go bye-bye to Zoom!""Go bye-bye to Zoom!""Go bye-bye to Zoom!""Go bye-bye to Zoom!""Go bye-bye to Zoom!""Go bye-bye to Zoom!""Go bye-bye to Zoom!" (zoom is his word for Zoo)

- Announce to family waffles are ready

- Two year old screams in joy over syrup and wakes up 2 month old

- Eat half my waffles because two year old has eaten other half

~~~~drink some MORE coffee!~~~~~~~

- Nurse baby again

- pack up kids and head to bookstore because it's raining and hubby needs quiet time to work on slides for office

- realize I'm hungry and head to Maggiano's for lunch where idiot teenager or college student tells me they don't allow strollers in the restaurant and offers to put my baby in a high chair.

- explain to idiot teenager/college student that my baby is only two months old and can not sit in a high chair yet.

- finally realize that idiot teenager/college student is not going to let me eat in the restaurant despite it being 2pm and totally empty.

- walk down to Clydes

- get crayons and books out for 2 year old to play with while I nurse the baby and eat a hamburger at the same time

- walk back to car to drive to grocery store

- arrive at store and have to use bathroom, unload both kids from shopping cart to use bathroom

- come out of bathroom to find shopping cart gone

- go back to front of store and get another cart

- get shopping done and come back to car to find some asshole has parked their minivan so close to the car that I can't get in, let alone wedge the baby & carseat in.

- security guard offers to watch the baby while I back the car out.

- get in car from passenger side and back out.

- put baby in back seat of car while asshole in SUV honks and security guard goes back to tell him to chill

- drive home

- in 10 mins it took to drive home 2 year old has fallen asleep because we missed his nap with this little outting

- sit in car and wait to let 2 year old sleep

- baby gets hungry and cries and wakes up 2 year old.

- get out of car and wait for traffic to die down enough to open car door and get screaming baby out.

- walk around to other side to get toddler, groceries and my bag out of the car

- waddle across the street holding hand of toddler and his balloon (procured at grocery store) in one hand, the car seat with screaming baby and 4 bags of groceries in the other

- get in house put away groceries (baby still screaming and hungry)

- sit on couch and nurse baby

- log on to facebook.

.... whew.....

Happy FREAKIN' New Year!!!!

All humanity is lost! We’ve become a decadent self-centered society who could barely give a damn about anyone else (unless someone else is watching and it becomes publicly expedient)! What brings on this tirade? Today I had an appointment with my OB. I think I’ve mentioned in previous entries that my doc’s office is roughly 45 mins away. I stuck with my OB because I know, love and trust him. So all my doc appointments are out in Gaithersburg and my delivery will be too.

So, I’m off the doc on this fine morning. There is a beautiful drive through Rock Creek Park that I like to take that ends just a bit before I reach the highway. However, today that drive was not so nice! There is a severe wind advisory out with gusts up to 40 mph. The drive on Beach drive through Rock Creek Park proved to be a gauntlet! Trees were down everywhere and falling all around me! Just as I’m making it to the end of Rock Creek, just before the road starts to widen a bit a giant tree limb, easily a foot in diameter and roughly 4 feet long falls directly in front of the car. I slam on the breaks to avoid it hitting the car, but I didn’t quite stop fast enough as I still managed to roll over the limb and get it lodged under the car. I could hear it scraping and smell it burning. I pulled to the side of the road as best I could – there is really no shoulder on this road. Meanwhile, the jerk behind me has the nerve to honk frantically at me and rips around me with screeching tires as he passes and takes off. I look for more traffic and wait while 4 more cars drive past. Nice, very neighborly.

I get out and go to the front of the car and look under to see this enormous tree branch (tree TRUNK! is more like it) lodged under the car. I can’t reach it from the front. More cars come around the bend and honk at me as they pass…really…what the hell was going on?! There is no shoulder, I’m over as far as I can get, hazard lights on and I can’t pull into the grass because the ground drops off. I go to the passenger side of the car to see if I can reach the tree branch from there. Let me remind you I’m a VERY LARGE 7 months pregnant, getting up and down is a challenge let alone getting the strength and ability to reach under a car to pull out a lodged tree TRUNK! I can’t reach it from the passenger side. More cars pass, more honking. I’m close to tears.

I try calling my husband to get him to look up a number of whoever you call to get tree trunks dislodged from under your car. He doesn’t answer…probably in the basement playing with our son. Now I am crying as yet even more cars honk and pass me by. It’s freezing outside, but I decide if someone drives by and sees that I’m pregnant they might stop to help. Since just being a stranded woman in the woods didn’t seem to work. I take the coat off, thinking it was just making me look fat rather than pregnant. The empire waisted sweater I had on definitely showed my condition off very well. I carefully approach the driver’s side of the car watching for cars in both directions…since the road is so narrow I was risking getting hit by either side. I crouch down to look and of course lose my balance and fall over. I cry some more. NOW….it starts to SLEET! Just then a car comes around the bend behind me…is he slowing? Oh thank god…yes…he’s slowing down but not to help me, he slowed just to look at me crawling off the ground and speeds off - yes, he actually had to drive over in the opposing traffic lane to get around and pass me. WHAT THE HELL?!!!!!!!! I’m just a miserable crying mess at this point.

I can hear more cars coming as I am making my way off the ground and around to the front of the car. The front car was coming around the bend so fast that he had to slam on his breaks and slid to a stop behind me. He honks, and honks and honks… Does he want me to move my car?! Does he think I’ve stopped here just to check out the scenery?! He throws his car in reverse, throws it in drive (I say throw because I can see his car lunging forward with the gear shifts) and tears around me; and takes the time to roll down his window to scream something inaudible at me! I had had it…I scream back, give him the bird and yell “thanks for helping the pregnant woman stranded on the side of the road!!!!”.

I’m beyond feeling sorry for myself at this point and wait while more cars pass, then I sit on my butt on the ground on the drivers side again and, ignoring the sharp sheering pains shooting up my stomach, I kick and kick and kick at the tree stump until I feel it loosen – then, ignoring even more pain, I get on my stomach (God did it hurt) and yank the tree trunk out. I hear a car coming…god, he can’t see me, I think. I jump up as fast as my giant, pregnant belly will allow, leaving the tree stump. The car passes me; I think to myself…Karma better exist and it better bight these people on the ass! I get back down on the ground and yank the stump out. I drag it off the road and wait while even more cars pass. I get in the car and cry in relief! I would guess that roughly 20 to 30 cars passed me this morning. Not a single soul stopped to ask if I was OK! I made it to my doc appointment 30 mins late, disheveled and dirty and got an extra thorough going-over when I told the nurse about my morning. She got a shorter version than this.

I sure hope none of you would ever pass up a pregnant woman stranded on the road….and if any of you were the ones passing me by this morning…. I take solace that you will get yours!!!

The picture above of Beach Drive in Rock Creek Park I retrieved from a Wikipedia article about Rock Creek Park.

My Review of Spill-Proof Cap Combo Pack

Originally submitted at One Step Ahead

Now little kids can drink from grown-up juice and water bottles — without spilling! These clever spouts turn plastic beverage bottles into instant sippy cups. No spilling, no leaking if the bottle gets tipped over. Includes four screw-on caps: two for wide-mouth juice bottles and two for diff...

Spill-Proof Cap Combo Pack

So far...very disappointed!

By JennRGolden from Washington, DC on 12/2/2008

 

1out of 5

Gift: No

Describe Yourself: First Time Parent

I could not wait to get these in...what a great idea...but so far I have not found anything they fit! Doesn't fit the apple juice we routinely buy at the local coffee house, doesn't fit the milk bottle from the happy meal at McDonalds...nothing so far... VERY DISAPPOINTED...

(legalese)

Nordstrom Maternity Sucks!

I know I’m on the large side this pregnancy…OK, I was on the large-side the last pregnancy too…and frankly I’m sick of not being able to find decent clothes in my size! I’m a size 12…that’s not HUGE for Christ’s sake! Nordstroms seems to only service up to size oooh, I guess 8! A recent search on their on-line shop yielded the following choices for size Large (12-14): 2 maternity bras, 2 types of Mama Spanx and 2 pairs of underwear. Seriously? Really? No blouses in a 12 no skirts or dresses ? Not even a t-shirt?!!! Amazing.

----------Update------

OK, it's just their search function that sucks...I tried searching every size choice and it always returned underwear... soo they just kind-of suck :)

----------Update II------

OK, I guess I have to take back the whole comment. Last night I spent a few hours searching all the maternity website for some major maternity underwear (such as you see in the bottom right of the photo); the only place I could find them was Nordstroms! Everyone else had bikini-type underwear...which are find for right now - but after the c-section...the top of the bikini-type underwear hit right on the sutures! ouch!!! FOr a good 3 months I need some granny-panties :D lovely, I know.