|Peaceful photo I took |
at Colonial Williamsburg in 2008
We all have them. The moment you *know* you’re in love. The moment you look into your new-born’s eyes and feel that bond. Life-changing and all –emotional moments when you discover something riveting about yourself or someone else.
I had a wholly unexpected “moment” this past Friday; at work no less! I just started a new job. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for some time now. It was always the plan that when the youngest turned two I would return to work; which I’ve done. I’ve returned to my chosen career as an Executive Assistant. I work at PBS as the Executive Assistant to the President and CEO. I had a good feeling about the woman I work for from the moment I interviewed with her. There was absolutely no hint of ego or arrogance in the woman. Indeed, to the point that I thought there was no way she could be a successful executive without it! But, to be sure, she is successful and low-and-behold… a genuinely good person! How do I know this with only a week of work under the belt? Well, against my better judgment – I’ll tell you.
Why is this against my better judgment? The answer to that is two fold. First, I’m betraying a self-imposed betrayal of trust to my executive as well as sharing something deeply personal. You see, I’ve found a lump in my breast; something that causes every woman’s heart to sink and a painful pit to form in their stomach. My doc has scheduled a visit to the radiologist on Monday (two days from now). This past Friday, when I had a moment with my new boss, I had to tell her I would not be in the office (at my brand new, 1 week old job) so I could go get this mammogram done.
I was honest. I told her everything – that I had found a lump. It was the first time I had spoken the words out loud (I had cowardly told my husband via email and refused to speak of it in person [and still do]). But, in this case, I was forced to speak of it face-to-face and in person. In fact, I’m positive that my mother, father, sister and in-laws are reading this post and probably offended that I have not personally told them about this quiet anguish I am experiencing.
[To you all, my family, please don’t be offended…First and foremost I didn’t want to make a big deal of something that may turn out to be nothing and second, I didn’t want the emotional upheaval of having to “officially” tell you.]
Back to my awesome boss…upon hearing this news her immediate and honest reaction was to get up from her chair and come around her desk to hug me. I was so taken aback that I started cry. (damn-it! I tried to suck it up …but I couldn’t)… then as if it weren’t enough that she was a good enough person to get up and hug me… she told me that if on Monday I needed to call someone or just to talk to please feel free to call her! Holy crap! I have to tell you… there is zero ego/arrogance in this woman… she will forever have my deepest respect – no matter the outcome of Monday’s exam!
Anyway… no clue why I needed to post this tonight… perhaps it’s simply that the whole matter is weighing on my mind …perhaps, in this world of selfishness, I’m astounded to find an honest selfless act…whatever it is…I’m now sharing my anguish of possible breast cancer with the world and my absolute delight in having an honest-to-God good-hearted boss with the world.
I’m sharing …. “A Moment”.