My Kids Don't Drive me to Drink...

... they drive me to EAT!

I'm not a big drinker, though I love a glass of Clicquot anytime you set one in front of me or some oh-so-smooth Chimay Red. Stressful days or situations don't make me run for the nearest liquor store - they make me run to the nearest chocolatiere!

I just spent from 1:00 pm to 3:30 pm trying to get my two cherubs down for their afternoon naps. Here's the series of events and go ahead and imagine the classic circus song (called Entry of the Gladiator, if you're wondering) playing in the background - I know I often do. It's what makes me grin to myself during these hectic moments. Here, you have to get the perfect image in your head…here’s the song:



I put Paul down for his nap at 1:00pm (30 mins late because we had taken a walk to the store).

Peter finishes eating his lunch and I put him down around 1:30 pm – emerge from Peter’s room to here Paul crying his heart out.

I go in and find his mattress is soaked with tears and snot (I thought he had burst a diaper) – but it seems he never went to sleep (as far as I could tell). I found him with both of his socks off and at opposite ends of the crib, he was crooked in the crib with one foot out over the bumper and somehow the crib was pushed out from the wall!

I work to get Paul back down but he just won’t go to sleep and starts playing, cooing and laughing. I bring him down stairs where he plays for a bit and starts crying again and then just breaks down in tears as if he had hurt himself!

Back up stairs to try again to get him to sleep. He falls asleep in my arms almost immediately. I put him in the crib and he wakes up screaming his head off. I wait a bit but he never stops crying.

I pick him up again and again he’s falling asleep fast so I put him down before he’s totally asleep. He starts crying again, but I know he's sleepy so I let him cry it out. After 20 gut-wrenching/heartbreaking minutes of straight crying, he falls asleep.

But what do I hear? Coming from PETER’S room… Peter, course saying ”Mama,Mama.?” very quietly. I don’t answer and come back downstairs. Because if I open his door…all is lost. That child is taking his nap!

I come downstairs and open the freezer to finish off the last of a pint of ice cream I have been so proud of not touching since before we went on vacation over a week ago.

Gone! Is the ice cream.

Gone! Too is the remainder of the bag of Salt & Vinegar chips.

Gone! Yes, yes... is the chocolate bar that I hid from myself in the upper shelving in my kitchen (that never works).

My kids drive me to EAT!